Synopsis: LET ME IN
Grant is damaged, selfish, and undeserving of love…or so he thinks.
Jessa is happy, in love, and has overcome her past…or so she thinks.
Grant and Jessa can’t stop thinking about one another since being introduced at a party a month ago. And despite their differences, they can’t seem to stay away from each other either. However, both are hiding secrets of less-than-perfect pasts, fearing what will happen when those mistakes come to light. As they grow closer, they each battle their own insecurities, and neither believes that they are worthy of the kind of love that they both still want. So if it’s true that opposites attract, what happens when the similarities begin to surface?
LET ME IN by Michelle Lynn
By the time we get to the dance floor, we are packed in like sardines, barely able to move, let alone dance. Rob places his hands on my hips and tugs me to him while placing his leg between mine. This whole dirty dancing thing is throwing me for a loop. What exactly are we doing here and dancing like this? I stare up at him with confusion and he gives me a cat-that-ate-the-canary look before pointing to the corner.
I stop dancing and turn my body around but Rob grabs me again and brings me against his crotch. Trying to search where he was looking, my eyes scan the crowd but I don’t see anything except a sea of drunken people making out with each other.
“Right there, Jessa,” he whispers in my ear and I follow his finger. My stomach drops when my eyes find Grant pressing some girl against the wall. He has her cornered while his lips devours her neck and his hands hike up her dress.
“Wish it was you?” he whispers and chills travel up my back. I automatically attempt to step away from Rob, but he pulls me back. “Not the angel you thought he was, huh?” he laughs. He twists me around to face him and although he’s laughing his comment off, I can’t help but feel like he means it. Panic arises as I wonder if Rob has seen something. God, did he see that kiss on New Year’s?
Rob keeps me wrapped in his arms when a slow song starts, but I can’t get my mind to erase what I just saw. As Rob’s breath tickles my neck while he sways me back and forth, I desperately want to see what Grant’s doing. I knew he wasn’t a monk, but I didn’t think he was the kind of guy who fucked a girl up against a wall in the middle of a club either. After the song ends, I tell Rob that I need to go to the bathroom. He places his hands on either side of my face and starts to kiss me. Thrusting his tongue into my mouth, he doesn’t let up. It starts to feel possessive, as though he’s trying to prove to everyone I’m his. Eventually I push him away and he laughs while I stalk off.
Once the game ends, I politely stand up to say my goodbyes. After hugging all the women and shaking all the men’s hands, Jessa says she’ll walk me out.
“What are you doing for the rest of break?” she asks as we continue to take steps to the front door. I can’t help but feel that my time here has gone by too fast tonight.
“I have to work but other than that, not much of anything,” I answer.
“Well, call or text me and we can get together,” she says casually when we reach the door.
I grab my jacket and turn back toward her. “You do the same, I’ll be around,” I inform her.
“What are you doing for New Year’s?” The hesitation in her voice makes me hopeful.
“I usually meet one of my buddies in their hometown, but this year I don’t have any plans,” I embarrassingly admit.
“Well, you do now. I have a friend who’s throwing a party. Why don’t you come? Brady and Sadie will be there too,” she says. The way her fingers fiddle with her multiple ear piercings is adorable. I wonder if it’s a nervous habit. The thought that she’s uneasy asking me, makes my lips turn up widely in response.
“Alright, do you want me to pick you up?” I pray the desperation in my voice goes unnoticed.
“No, that’s okay. Rob will be home, so you can meet us there. I’ll text you the address.” Just like that, the excitement of a date with Jessa vanishes.
“Sounds good.” I open the door, displaying what I imagine is my fakest smile. “See you, Jessa,” I say, waving my hand.
“Hold up, Grant,” she calls out. When I turn around, she wraps her arms around my neck and pushes herself against me.
I quickly back away, after the briefest and most awkward hug ever. Regret consumes me automatically when I see her questioning face, but the last thing I need is her feeling how excited she can make me just from a simple hug.
“Merry Christmas, Grant,” she softly says, nervously biting her lip. This girl has so many different personalities I’m beginning to wonder who the real Jessa Harrison is.
“Merry Christmas, Jessa.” I turn around, walking down the steps. I desperately want to turn around to see if she’s watching me go, but I can’t bear the thought that she isn’t. The chance that she might have shut the door right away kills me. Turning the corner after walking through the small wrought-iron fence, my willpower weakens and I glance up to the door. To my surprise, she’s still standing there. I give her a quick wave, and she smiles at me before waving back. When I turn around, I can’t stop the huge grin that absorbs my face. Yeah, I’m not the only one feeling something here.
My mind races as I’m leaving the lecture hall. Pulling my gloves and hat on, I watch Grant’s large frame walk quickly in the other direction. How can your heart and mind be in two more different places? My heart screams for Grant every time we’re around each other, but my mind won’t let me take the step. Make that a giant leap.
The thing that scares me the most is that he doesn’t truly want it. I can feel his desire for me throughout my whole body when he’s near, but then he pulls back just as fast. Then again, the last thing I want is to stay with Rob just for the sake of having someone. I’m stronger than that and I know it.
Before Jason, I wouldn’t have thought twice about breaking things off with Rob and running toward Grant. Fuck Jason for making me doubt my self-worth. My therapist’s words ring in my head from my last session: ‘You have to live again, Jessa. Go, and be happy. You’ve done the work, now reap the reward.’ Dr. Hinkle was the one who convinced me to leave Boulder and start fresh somewhere else. And that’s exactly what I did last semester.
When I first met Rob, I was scared out of my mind, but I pushed forward like Dr. Hinkle said and let him in. Things were so great…at first. He took me home for Thanksgiving and it felt as though we were really going somewhere. That he could be the one and we’d fall in love and live happily ever after. Then he and his band agreed to play Grant’s fraternity party and our relationship started to shift. Dates stopped, the swooning disappeared, and suddenly, I’m being rushed through drive-thru windows to eat and propped up against anything but a bed to fuck.
Don't Let Go
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